Two of my dearest friends lost their home on Saturday night when that strong Southerly blew up the coast bringing relief after a ridiculously hot day. At first it was a hot wind. It slowly cooled over the evening to bring the cooler days we find relief in today.

What brings relief to one brings pain to another.

With such widespread and an unprecedented scale to the current fires that destroy our country, the climate emergency we as a world face is also unprecedented.

What do you say to those that loose thier homes. I am sorry, as a contributing element in climate change I am also partly responsible for your loss. Yes we all are. Humanity. We are failing to act on something we have known about for such a long time. Decades. I first started teaching environmental conservation in 1985. I was worried then about our plight of continuous growth, pollution, reliance on fossil fuels, population growth and deforestation. We were teaching kids about the carbon economy and the price the world was paying to continue our extravagant lifestyle. The price we pay for cutting down trees.

I tell my friends, that I have no idea what it’s like to loose your home, I tell them my heart is with them. I remind them of my love for them.

I lived in the heart of fire country for years. Having a bag permanently packed ready to leave. Removing my negatives and taking backups to store in a safe place.

The smell of smoke can trigger two different responses. When I am camping and sitting around a campfire I am reminded of all the deep friendships that have been forged by an open fire. Such romantic thoughts and feelings. Yet, in summer at the height of fire season, the smell of burning eucalyptus trees fills my body with fear and panic. Knowing destructive fire is just a winds breath away.

Feeling deadened by the constant inundation of smoke over the past two months. Two full months we have been on fire. Actually since September, so we are in the fifth month of fires. The official fire season is December to March. There is no end in sight.

We have more hot days ahead, we have fires still burning, just waiting for the wind to fan and push them. The fires have already released nearly our annual current equivalent of carbon into the air as Australia’s annual output.

What we do have to face is the fact that climate change will accelerate and will continue to accelerate beyond our greatest fears. Every day we don’t act the consequences increase.

I laze in bed thinking of my dearest friends who lost their beautiful home. One I still hadn’t visited. Wondering if they will rebuild. Wondering what it’s like to loose so much. A lifetime of memories. While we can rationalise that it’s just stuff, we feel that we have lost a part of ourselves.

I hope they are thinking how lucky they are to be alive. How lucky they are to have somewhere to go. Others haven’t been.

Apparently they estimate 480 million Native animals are gone, 13,00 homes, 18 people killed and 10 million acres burnt with 70 meter high flames. It’s the largest continual fire we have faced as Australians.

Unprecedented.

Our politicians scramble and make excuses. No changes in sight about policy or direction. We need leadership right now, but there is none of that in sight either. We should be able to hold them accountable for crimes against the planet and humanity. We have known this has been coming for a very long time.

When I say I am sorry, to my dear friends that lost thier house. It is heartfelt and heartbreaking.

You are loved.

I am sorry.

Angst. Photograph and text copyright © Len Metcalf 2019